Ha! You have to love the timing. I started this blog to document the trivial minutiae of life that gets in the way of the good stuff and then I only went and had a Dramatic Event!
As you have gathered from the title (because you have the smarts), my house caught fire. Well I say house, my lounge got the brunt of it and the fantasticness of the fire brigade meant the rest is fairly ok apart from being a lot blacker and smellier than before.
The day started off as any other - being rudely awakened by the cats and birds fighting in the big tree at the bottom of the garden. And so began another day of getting up, getting washed and dressed, bundling The Daughter off to nursery and heading off to work.
Except while The Daughter was busy watching CBeebies while I was in the shower, the random socket that I didn't use decided to spark and start a fire.
The Daughter quite sensibly ran to the bathroom but didn't tell me what was happening, oonly crying the cry she does when she knows she's done something naughty. So I blithely finished my shower and got out to go and start her breakfast.
Except the kitchen was full of smoke. As was the dining room. As was the lounge but with the added extra of Actual Big Flames.
Crank up to OH MY GOD! HOLY FREAKING SHIT! level.
What happened next was a bit of a blur but I managed to wake The Hairy Drummer and get us all out the back door. By this time, I'm pretty sure I was screaming as the neighbours two doors down had run out to their garden and phoned the fire brigade.
It was then The Hairy Drummer realised I was actual nekkid. Oh dear. Thankfully my modesty was preserved by a random blanket that's been in the garden for ages and isn't the nicest thing ever but you take what you can get at times like these.
So, in a blur of fire engines and the windows blowing out from the heat (and possibly the explosions of my hairsprays...), my house suddenly became uninhabitable. Whatever had been in the lounge was gone and everything else coated in the pungent stench of smoke and soot.
It's times like these that you get all zen and understand that everything can be replaced. That the most important thing is that we all got out safe. That firemen will look at you strangely when you're finally allowed back in and run to find your favourite pair of shoes and cry when you discover they're safe. That vintage snare drums are apparently indestructible. That cats will come back to find you after they've got the hell out first. That your neighbours are kinder than you could ever think. That skanky local reporters will try to sensationalise nothing until they realise they're dealing with a fellow trained journalist. That you can be the most organised you've ever been simply because you have to.
So there we have it. A hella lot of drama for one day which will provide a bit of an inconvenience for the next few months but will also settle into the banal normality that is everyday life.
Blogging about nothing doesn't get any more dramatic than this!